Re: Texts From Last Night

by **Svetlana Orlova** Sat May 03, 2014 10:07 pm

Sveta to Patience
"He said he was going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him. Possibly by boat."

by **Ron Stoppable** Fri May 30, 2014 11:57 pm

Ron to Kim
"I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed species."

by **Svetlana Orlova** Tue Jun 24, 2014 10:28 pm

Sveta to Patience
"Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying "but where will all the polar bears live?!". That drunk."

Sveta to Maria
"SOME BITCH STOLE MY KINDER SURPRISE EGGS FROM THE COMMON ROOM. THERE WILL BE BLOOD."

Sveta to Greg Robbins
"I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk."

Sveta to Lucille
"The party was Hollywood themed and I won an Oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"."

by **Cade Foster** Wed Jun 25, 2014 8:52 pm

Cade to Michelle
" Woke up with a squirrel in my
bed, how was your night? "

Cade to Winter Mills
" I just started the bonfire using a
tampon. Who knew they could have
multiple uses? "

by **Svetlana Orlova** Sat Jul 19, 2014 9:54 pm

Sveta to Julian
"Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the Quidditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos."

by **Julian Reynolds** Fri Aug 01, 2014 7:23 am

Julian to Sveta
"Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life"

by **Daisy** Tue Aug 05, 2014 11:25 pm

Daisy to Castiel
"Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my park. I wanna be like them."

by **Rose Trodaire** Fri Oct 17, 2014 10:42 am

Rose to Cade
"All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood."

Rose to Michelle
"I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good."

Rose to Aislinn
"I just made a kick-ass drunk stir-fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material."

by **Svetlana Orlova** Sun Nov 09, 2014 9:49 pm

Sveta to Maria
"He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy."

by **Maria Hill** Fri Jan 02, 2015 7:47 pm

Maria to Sveta
"Ummm, my mojito just spilled on two mission reports as I'm reading. Who says field agents have all the fun?"

Maria to Patience
"Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?"

Maria to Phil
"As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes, it's all good."

by **Abby Sciuto** Wed Jan 28, 2015 11:59 am

Abby to Lestrade
"Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote."

by **Phil Coulson** Fri Jan 30, 2015 7:31 pm

Phil to Maria
"Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others."

Patience to Maria
"I encourage you to ignore feelings. Drinking more helps"

Garrett to Maria
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape

by **Clint Barton** Sat Jan 31, 2015 10:21 am

Clint to Natasha
"I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood."

by **Natasha Romanova** Sat Jan 31, 2015 9:03 pm

Natasha to Clint
"I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out."

by **Skye** Sat Jan 31, 2015 10:49 pm

Skye to Coulson
"I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor."

by **Clint Barton** Sun Feb 01, 2015 5:00 pm

Clint to Natasha
"The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch."

by **John Garrett** Sun Feb 01, 2015 6:55 pm

Garrett to Maria
"A Mormon just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me""

by **Patience Moran** Sun Feb 01, 2015 7:08 pm

Patience to Maria
"I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life."

Patience to Maria
"I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me"

Garrett to Nick Fury, Phil Coulson and Maria Hill
"Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?"

Garrett to Nick Fury, Phil Coulson and Maria Hill
"Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life"

by **Svetlana Orlova** Sun Feb 01, 2015 11:41 pm

Sveta to Layla
"Some agent in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk."

Sveta to Maria
"Ask her if it hurt when she broke through Earth's crust as she ascended from hell."

Sveta to Julian
"THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION!"

Sveta to Mycroft
"Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up."

Sveta to Patience
"I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom, I'm leaving you at the bar this time."

by **Julian Reynolds** Mon Feb 02, 2015 1:00 pm

Julian to Svetlana
"You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on Tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children."

by **Rose Trodaire** Mon Feb 02, 2015 9:01 pm

Rose to Michelle

"A boy in some branch of the military kissed me and I think I'm going through an American sniper phase."

by **Abby Sciuto** Mon Feb 09, 2015 5:56 pm

Abby to Molly Hooper

"Random officer from Dispatch just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?"

by **Clint Barton** Tue Feb 10, 2015 4:25 pm

Clint to Natasha
"gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?"

by **Natasha Romanova** Tue Feb 10, 2015 6:11 pm

Natasha to Clint
"Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go."

by **Antoine Triplett** Tue Feb 10, 2015 7:59 pm

Triplett to Garrett
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."

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