I need help! And a pony! (open)

Wade Wilson. Age unknown. Deadpool, Merc with a mouth.

He was aboard a ship, just a normal everyday cargo ship. He was hiding out, on his way to, well only God knows where. The Merc with a mouth just sat there, waiting until the ship would dock and he would jump off.

I’M BORED!
I’m sorry?
You should be, player.
Its not my fault you did this-
-BANG-

Deadpool had shot himself in the head out of boredom, yet again. Well, since he is dead you would think that I would have learned by now right? You know, being his narrator and all. The man shoots himself out of boredom and now I get to write about absolutely nothing because who wants to write a bunch of nonsense about a dead guy lying on the floor? It’s all boring for me even. You know what, I am going to just skip ahead. Narrators can time travel right?

Deadpool awoke moments later, and he looked around. The ship had stopped and he jumped up from the floor, that had a small pool of blood from when he shot himself in the head. He collected his duffel bag and made sure that he had everything that he boarded the ship with. This was the only possible way of travel because Deadpool had recently blown up one of his apartments with a toaster.

Thank goodness that wasn’t the apartment with our favorite thing in it.
what thing is that?
The Solution, you half wit.
That would have been tragic.
“Thank the lord we moved that to our place out here.”
Why did we do that again?
Because we had a job out here in England involving vampires.
“you mean Draculas.” Deadpool replied to the voices in his head.
Yes the draculas. That was fun.

Deadpool was able to get off the ship undetected. He looked around and stared at the bay.

Player, where are we?
Did you ever pay attention in school?
No.
Ugh, you’re in Card-
CARDIFF! …I said it first!
Alright, you said it first.

Deadpool started walking and he didn’t pay any attention to the people staring at him. he wasn’t wearing his mask, so his horribly scared face was visible. He was wearing his red and black suit underneath a pair of Bermuda shorts and a purple and pink Hawaiian shirt that was unbuttoned so that the red and black spandex suit was visible. He looked totally out of place, but when did he ever look like he was in place with anything? The mercenary continued to walk down the street trying to figure out how he was going to get to London.